Chapter 44

Sara bolted upright in shock, tearing free from Jon’s hands. She stared down at him, wide-eyed, and Jon cursed inwardly.

‘Nice going, Jonny’ he thought ‘You’ve blown it. Why the fuck couldn’t you just keep your big mouth shut?’

“Sara, I….”

She put her fingers over his lips, silencing him, and it occurred to Jon that she still sat astride him, and faint hope surged that maybe - just maybe - he hadn’t completely blown it. With an effort, Jon remained silent, watching Sara’s face, and he could almost see the wheels turning in her mind as she processed what he’d said.

Gazing down at Jon, seeing the patient look in his cerulean eyes, Sara didn’t know what to do or say. His simple declaration was something so far removed from her experience that she couldn’t really take it in. She tried to work out how she felt about Jon. Being with him was mind-blowing - even when they weren’t making love - and when he wasn’t around she felt strangely bereft, as though something vital was missing from her life. Was that love? Sara wasn’t sure, but she did know she felt more alive when she was with Jon, even if they were just sitting on her couch watching a movie.

Slowly, she took her hand away from his mouth, seeing the patience turn to trepidation as he looked up at her. She laid her hands on his chest, and Jon felt a stab of relief - she wasn’t rejecting him out of hand - but he fought back a smile, waiting for Sara to speak.

“I’m sorry.” She said, so softly. “You really caught me unawares with that, Jon. I don’t know how you can say that, though - we barely know each other.”

Jon gathered his thoughts, searching for the right words, the words to convince Sara of his sincerity. For a guy whose livelihood largely depended on knowing the right word to use at the right time, he was drawing a blank here. After a long moment, he gave it up, deciding to just say whatever felt right.

“Sara - baby - I know. I know we hardly know each other, or really anything about each other, but in a way I also feel like I’ve known you for a very long time - like I knew you before we even met.” He looked into those beautiful brown eyes. “Shit. I’m not saying this right, am I? Damn it. I should’ve kept my big mouth shut. It’s too soon for you, isn’t it? Too early for you to hear this. Can we go back and pretend I didn’t say it? Can we do that?”

Sara could hear a note of desperation in his voice, and she thought very carefully before she answered him.

“Do you want to? I mean, do you want to take back what you said?”

“No! No, I don’t, but if it’ll make things better, then I will. If that’s what you want.”

‘Choose your words carefully’ Sara told herself.

“I don’t think that is what I want. I mean, I don’t think I want you to take it back. I’m just not sure I can say it back to you, Jon, not yet.” Sara dropped her gaze, unable to hold the steady contact of his blue eyes as she continued.

“I love being with you, Jon - not just in bed, but in every way - and I feel lost when you’re not there. I just don’t know if that’s love………..if that’s enough for you?”

Jon blew out a relieved breath, finally able to smile, and he reached up a hand to tilt her chin, making her look at him again.

“Baby, if that’s all you can give me right now, then it’s enough for me.”

Now Sara smiled, and Jon pulled her down on top of him again, hugging her tightly as he whispered in her ear.

“Jesus - I really thought I’d lost you there, Sara. Me and my mouth. I need to learn to think before I speak.”

“Or just don’t speak, babe.” Sara suggested, starting to smile. “After all, there are so many other uses for that mouth of yours!”

She felt Jon’s belly shake under hers as he chuckled, then he whispered one more word in her ear.

“Hussy!”

Sara smiled down at him, then touched his lips with hers before sitting up again.

“I guess I should get dressed.” Sara muttered, sliding off Jon to sit on the bed beside him.

“Do you have to? I mean, right now?”

“I suppose so. I should really go get some groceries - I don’t even know if I’ve anything here for dinner!”

“But you’re coming out with me and Richie tonight, aren’t you? You haven’t changed your mind?”

“Oh! No - I just forgot - what you said kind of blew my mind.”

“That’s not what you were blowing earlier.” Jon smirked, and Sara giggled at the memory. Gladly, Jon realised that his rash - but honest - statement hadn’t damaged what they had, and he laughed along with Sara.

“So what time’s the party?”

“We’ll probably head over around ten.”

“Ten. Ten pm? Yeesh - I’d usually be thinking of heading home by then. Don’t know if I can keep up with a pair of rock stars!”

“Honey - so long as you’re leaving with me, we can leave as early as you like.”

“Is there a dress code or anything? What should I wear?”

Jon sat up beside her, considering the question seriously.

“It’s just a party for a friend’s birthday. I dunno - just whatever you’d normally wear out with your friends?”

Sara smiled gently.

“Baby - I don’t go out - if I’m seeing friends, I wear jeans, and I’m guessing this isn’t a jeans affair. I do have some dressier clothes, but I don’t know what’s appropriate.”

Jon grinned as he had an idea - an idea which would keep her from getting dressed too soon, too!

“Well, why don’t you go find some stuff, put it on, and I’ll decide for you. I mean - personally? - I’d be happy with what you’re wearing right now.”

Sara stared at him - she wore a short t shirt and nothing else, and Jon laughed.

“Okay - maybe not, then. Go dress up for me, baby. Surprise me!”

Smiling slowly, Sara stood up and went into the closet, wondering what the hell she could wear. Jon shuffled himself up the bed, propping up some pillows and leaning back comfortably.

“Skirt or pants?” Sara called from the closet.

“Uh…..skirt! Short one - I wanna be able to see those legs of yours!”

“Hold on a minute.”

Sara had just caught sight of a dress she’d bought when she was sixteen. Chinese-styled, it had a mandarin collar with a pretty keyhole cutout beneath, and the skirt sat well above the knee. She’d only ever worn it a couple of times, and wondered if it would still fit. It would give Jon a laugh if nothing else!

She pulled off the t shirt and stepped into the dress, twisting an arm behind her to zip it closed. It didn’t feel too tight, and she fastened the little button at the throat as she turned to look in the mirror. Whoa! Her hair was dishevelled, tumbling down over one shoulder from her contortions to reach the zipper, and the deep red satin clung to her in all the right places. She’d obviously grown a little taller since the last time she wore it, and it was just long enough that she was comfortable in it, although the short split on one thigh made it a borderline decision. Just for a moment, she seemed to catch a glimpse of the Sara that Jon saw, then she turned away from the mirror.

Sara stepped out of the closet, moving out into the room so Jon could see her, waiting for his reaction. There was a long silence, then she heard Jon breathe almost inaudibly.

“Jesus Christ!”

She didn’t look at him, staring at the floor. “So you don’t like it?”

“Like it?” He said, his voice rough. “Baby, I fucking love it. You look amazing!”

Sara looked at him in surprise.

“Really? It’s okay? I haven’t worn this since I was sixteen.”

“Okay? Jesus! Babe - there’s only one problem with that dress.”

“What? It’s too short, isn’t it?” She tugged at the hem as she spoke, but there was no way the dress would sit any lower.

“No. The only problem is whether I can keep my hands off you all night if you wear that. You look very, VERY hot, Sara.”

“Should I go see what else I have?”

“No point, babe. Wear that. Please wear it.” What she’d said before suddenly sank in. “You wore this when you were sixteen? And it still fits you? Damn, Sara - I may have to hate you! Or I may have to rip that off you later.”

She walked toward the bed as he raised a hand. “Well, it was a bit looser when I was sixteen. Not so short either!”

Sara sat down on the bed next to Jon, taking his hand in hers as he smiled at her.

“I’ve got an idea.” He said, lifting her hand to his mouth and kissing it.

“What?”

“Why don’t we both head over to the hotel - you bring that amazing outfit - and we’ll have something to eat with Richie, then we can get ready and all head to the party together.”

“That sounds nice. I could drive us to the hotel, then I’d have my car for getting home.”

“Or……” Jon unfolded her fingers and kissed her palm, lightly touching her with his tongue before he continued “…..you could stay at the hotel with me tonight. We could get a cab over, then I’ll bring you back in the Chevelle tomorrow. What do you think?”

“Actually, that sounds wonderful! I’ll get out of this dress and throw some stuff in a bag.”

“I could help you out of the dress, if you like?”

Sara smiled, turning her back to Jon. “Okay. Unzip me?”

Jon slid closer, gripping the zipper with finger and thumb and easing it slowly down her back, following it down with his tongue on her skin. Sara shivered convulsively, bowing her head forward and arching her back toward his touch.

“When do we need to leave for the hotel?” She asked faintly as Jon brought the zipper all the way down and pushed the dress forward, off her shoulders.

“Oh, we’ve plenty of time, baby……..”